legible for FML!!

It was my portfolio assessment earlier, well yesterday considering it’s the early hours of Friday now.. allow me to tell you how my day went..

It started off really good actually, I woke up on time, and was even able to get a little bit of “snooze” time because my assessment wasn’t until 2:oo pm. So I casually strolled and got ready at my own leisurely pace, however I was conscious about the time, because it would suck waking up early, getting ready, taking too long then end up being late.. Something that always, and I mean ALWAYS happens to me.. but there was no way I could afford to be late and end up failing Uni so close to the end. So leaving the house and walking down my street to catch the bus, I realize I forgot my Vaseline and a plastic wallet I was going to use for one of my projects. Oh well, I’m going to have to live with the dry lips for one day, and I could always buy a plastic wallet at Uni.. Not the end of the world..

I get to Uni at about 11. This leaves me three hours to print off my work in A3 and A2 sizes and just generally make sure everything is perfect. But before I do that, off to the Uni shop to by a “Flex (printing) card” at a credit crunching price of £6.00, UHU glue, because I had enough using Neil Buchanan’s Adhesive.. *Read the previous post if ya don’t understand* .. at £1.80 and a Plastic wallet for the bargain deal of the decade of 10p . Anyways, all of that comes up to a total of £7.90, and I proceed to pay by card.. I enter my PIN (it’s 6395 for those whom do not know), and it gets declined.. Hmm that’s weird I think to myself. I ask to try again and surprise surprise it gets declined.. I’m employed, and I haven’t even got enough for a measly £7.90?! What the hell am I going to do? It’s a certainty no one in Uni will lend me the money and Charl isn’t in to bail me out..

Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Fuck I’m screwed, I need to print off my artwork and longer I think of a way of getting money the shorter the time I actually have to finish my work. I go to a cash point because I’m still too naive to think I haven’t got enough money to pay £7.90 because it must be due to some sort problem with their machine or, as crazy as it sounds, I am a victim of fraud.. LOLLL. Well I enter my PIN in to the machine and for the first time in about a year I see something really surprising. Ok normally seeing zero’s in your back balance is a good thing e.g 1000, and I did see zero’s, three in fact.. however that little turd of a decimal point fucked everything up. My balance on screen read:

0.00

Uh- ohh.. 

Charl being the angel she is, transferred money into my bank, but god knows when that was going to arrive in my bank and register on the Uni shop machine. So I make the decision to run to my sisters house to borrow money, a trip that’s about 30 mins to and from..

I pick up the money and have to run back to Uni. I’m like sweating at this moment because the suns blazing down and I’m wearing a jumper haha. I make it back and buy all the necessary stuff I intended to buy.. Shame Uni shop worker!! I run to the printing rooms and proceed to print; it’s already 1:00 pm. I print everything then I realize I need to print a poster in A2 instead of the A3 I did it in.. Fuck.. and guess what, it’s costs another £12 to do, and 30 mins to print, ahh FMLLLL. Well I take the chance and print it.. it actually gets done in time and now with time running out I have to run to the third floor of the building to present my work.

Charl had her presentation on Monday, and she told me what to expect, including who was likely to inspect my portfolio.. she was lucky enough to get two good tutors, whom gave her lots of good feedback.. So therefore I wouldn’t be blamed into thinking I was going to get the same people.. Turns out not. Just my luck, I get the shittest tutor who never gives constructive criticism and just destroys the work right in front of your very eyes; along with this other random lady who also just chatted shit. Sigh.. oh well, I could only nod along to their unhelpful comments and occasionally defend my work, and emphasize that the other tutors actually told me to do my work like that.

But I guess it could’ve been worse haha. I know deep down I am pleased with my work, and I will actually talk to the other tutors on how I can improve my work so I guess today’s presentation wasn’t such a waste.. However, all that could’ve went wrong, did.. But at least it provides an entertaining and funny story..

FML haha

Desperate times calls for desperate measures..

So last night as I was preparing my sketchbooks and portfolio for my assessment, I realized I needed to stick in some of the hundreds of loose sheets I had collecting at the back of my books. I normally do things like this at Uni, usually in the library on my break if I’m not busy sleeping.. and doing something else, I’ll probably post something about it, but not right now ok? .. anyways, whenever I do this Charl’s normally sitting besides me so I use her glue, which extremely often is stolen from someone or somewhere else haha; so let’s just say I would always have a glue handy. However, working at home last night, I turned to my side and saw that Charly wasn’t there, and I had no form of glue to stick all the sheets down with.. hmm what to do?

I shout to my father in the kitchen and ask him if we have any “Pritt Stick” laying around the house.. he then goes to our shed in the back garden and later returns with this..

WTFFF?!

Boarder and overlay mother fucking adhesive?! .. That shit is from WICKES!!

Ok, props to the padre for helping me out in my time of need, but this is GHETTO!! .. However, as you know beggars can’t be choosers, and like the title of the post, desperate times calls for desperate measures.. and boy was I desperate.

So careful not to over “sploge” the papers with this crazy shit, I just added little dabs in the corners. I proper felt like neil Buchanan..

 

This is an art attack!
This is an art attack!
This is..
           ART ATTACK!!

 

NO BITCH.. IT’S A FUCKING MESS!!

That adhesive wrinkled the papers and just made everything look weird lol.

Oh well though, at least now sheets and book are one, and there’s no more “baggage” to accompany my sketchbooks haha..

mission accomplished.. thanks padre.. and neil “Art Attack” Buchanan!!